Interview on Blogtalk Radio
by Barbara Reynolds
I remember when I was a child and every summer we drove over a 1,000 miles to visit my Grandmother. She always spent part of our long awaited visit criticizing my Mother and telling her the RIGHT way to raise children. I loved my Grandmother but I really hated her criticism. Are you one of those people who have an opinion about everything and everybody? Do you find yourself frequently complaining about things or criticizing others—or worse, criticizing yourself? Do you feel that judging others or yourself is just an innocent pastime? NO!!! Whatever you focus on becomes your reality, whether you are focused on something good or on something bad. If you are constantly judgmental or critical about events or people or behaviors, you are making sure you will have more and more of those things in your life, because by focusing on them you are asking for them.
The first step in ridding yourself of this destructive habit is to make yourself aware of when you are thinking judgmental, critical thoughts—about others or about yourself. Here is one method for recognizing and releasing judgment. It's called a judgment jar. Get yourself a jar, any jar will do. Make a label for it that says Judgment Jar and stick it on the jar. Next you will need to cut or tear some scraps of paper, you may need a lot of them at first! Put the paper and a pen next to the jar.
Now. Every time you find yourself thinking a thought that is judgmental, critical, or negative in any way, about someone else, something else, or about yourself, write that thought on a scrap of paper and deposit it into your jar. As you do so, say to yourself, “I release this negative thought from my mind. I now choose to think thoughts of love and to send forgiveness and blessings to this person/situation.”
When your jar becomes full, take out all the thoughts and rid yourself of them. You can burn them, trash them, bury them, flush them or tear them into tiny pieces, just be sure that you let them go! When you do so, say to yourself, “I am now free of judgment and criticism. I now know that variety is necessary in life. It is wonderful that each of us has so many options to choose from!”
Even if you consider yourself a positive person you may benefit from using the judgment jar. Don’t be discouraged if your judgment jar is nearly full by the end of the first day! Over time you will find yourself being less and less judgmental. You will also find more positive things happening in your life because whatever you focus on becomes your reality.
What You Focus On Expands
by Jan Wright, Ph.D
Have you ever wondered why no matter how much you want something in your life to change it seemed that the mountain was always there? Or you set a goal or goals that seemed easy enough to accomplish and you are unable to succeed. What you focus on expands. Are you focusing on the positive in your life or the negative? If you spend all of your time focusing on what is wrong or what you do not have or do not want to happen then that is what you will get. I challenge you to start speaking and thinking in the positive and watch the amazing things that begin to happen in your life. When you make the statement I AM whatever you say after I AM is what you are creating in your life. So, I am healthy replaces I am sick. I am going to workout today replaces I am too tired to work out today.
Once you begin this process you find that you move from I can’t or I won’t to I can and I will. When working one on one with a client, I am able to help them to create with both their words and their thoughts a life that becomes less stressed and they begin to realize that they do have more power over their lives than they ever imagined. Another attitude change that works very well is to speak Gratitude for what you do have. Writing down what you want to have happen is also very beneficial in the process of creating your life. I caution parents to really pay attention to what they are saying and thinking about their children. Another way of looking at this is when we speak, we are ordering our life. When we say things like, I hate or I dread or I never want to, we are creating situations in our lives, and the lives of others, that are sabotaging our ability to succeed in what we do. If you are experiencing challenges in you and your families lives today begin to take control of whatever may be happening and change your focus.
As I began to apply this in my own life, I began to realize how many negative things I was saying about myself and others and now I find myself really stopping to be sure that what I say about any given situation is going to benefit everyone involved. In the world that we function in we all want to chose healthy lifestyles and in my experience that does include speaking well of myself and others.
Today begin to focus on all the good positive things about your life and then add to that the new goals you would like to accomplish. Keep doing this daily and when you hear something negative coming out of your mouth stop and correct yourself, before you realize it, the negative things stop and the positive become the norm. I am blessed is one of my personal favorites and the more I use it the more blessed I become.
Jan Wright Ph.D - 1236 NW 36, Oklahoma City, Ok 73118; e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org; phone: 405-650-4959
Jan Wright teaches Gems of Excellence classes. To learn more about them click here.